Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The ultimate remix!

OMG! Did you know that if you google "You have been waylaid by enemies", the first hit you get is my blog?

I know what you're thinking, "TOM! That's not exactly unusual! That's the title of your blog!"

True! But I stole the sentence cos I'm a dirty stealer. It's actually a nerd-culture reference. In that you might hear it up to 12 million times each time you play Baldur's Gate.

So, I'm back at uni. We can pretend that has been the reason for my bloglessness. I don't mind the courses this time around. One of my lecturers plays the crazy old coot quite well. Instead of writing notes on the coursework I just write down the almost philosophical rambling.

"Software holons. For example, a person's heart is a holon, I mean, if you tear it out of someone's chest it will keep beating. For a while. [Accompanied by a beating-heart hand gesture.]"

"[Turns to new slide.] So, here's a quote, well, what can you do with a quote, well you can read it, I suppose."

Gah! I just got cereal in my eye. I swear to god. You're going to have to excuse any spelling mistakes I make. I know what you're thinking, "Oh, Tom. The old 'mitigate spelling mistakes thanks to cereal in the eye' trick." But it's true.

I started a full time job. The whole first month is training. I'm being paid to learn! If only I wasn't learning otherwise-useless business rigmarole. So much powerpoint. You guys think a two hour lecture is bad? Try staring at dotpoints and clipart for EIGHT HOURS.

By the end we're all delerious. One guy in my group responded to a question with "Sorry, could your repeat that again? The question's not going into my brain."

I'm far worse. I find I'm putting the dotpoints to music in my head. "Find two IDs to merge together, and be absolutely sure as to whether, it should stay that way forever -ever -ever, -eh -eh -eh, under my umbrella -ella -ella".

The ultimate remix!

Hmm. And that's all she wrote.

And by 'she' I mean 'he'. And by 'he' I mean 'me'.