Posted a day late at uni.

I have no internet at the moment so I thought I'd write a blog entry. Goooood logic.

Speaking of logic, I had my exam today. It went great! But today has been awful. Just awful. Ful of the worst aw imaginable.

I got trapped in the parking lot. Not the good kind of trapped where the gates are shut and I decide to gun it up the gutter and along the footpath with Jess fearing for her life. No, the gridlock kind.

30 minutes to my exam. 20 minutes to my exam. 10 minutes to my exam. A spot? A spot! It's mine! BACK OFF, OLD MAN. Ok cool. Well it's a bit small, just go slowly slowly slowly- SCREEEEEECH. [Very colourful/inventive swearing here]. WHO PUTS A PILLAR THERE ANYWAY. Just reverse- SCREEEEEECH. Ok trying that again. Alright. There we go. Good car, good car. Exam now, repairs for you later.

And I was wrong to think my parents would believe the car just needed a splash of "Level 2" yellow.

Dammit. DAMMIT.

And an hour and a half getting home? What IS that. I just don't see this happening because I use the train. I have an excuse to drive to uni today, all the other commuters are freaking lazy. They're making it worse for everyone and they don't see it. You're all FUCKIN LUCKY I don't have a shotgun. Or like, good aim.

Anyway. Haven't blogged for a while it seems. Awesome things have happened! But in general, boring things have happened. I'm just going to note the bare essentials. I had a great bday party! So did Silvia! And Scott! But you guys don't know him. Not so essential after all! Ishouldbedeletingnotstilltyping!

Aaanyway. I've been kind of addicted to YouTube and MSN these days, hence the no blogness. And when I say "kind of", I mean "hopelessly". But in that vein, here's some msn names of times past. Most of it is from msn conversations but some of it's plagiarism. See if you remember any.

Social ladder: I'm not trying to climb it. I'm just trying to push other people off.

When am I NOT talking in MSN names? (Ooh mentioning MSN in an MSN name! Metafiction!) There was NO FICTION INVOLVED

Don't sue me legalstudies dude|We dont learn how to sue. But if you violate human rights I know exactly who to tell

Never does a star grace this land with a poet's light of twinkling mysteries

Life is a garden, dig it. | Life is NOT a garden, so quit being a ho.

How was it? Well, there was too much ice and not enough wall.

One should always look at Google before choosing a brandname, an appliance or a girlfriend.

"I'm not prone to hyperbole!" I bellowed in his face with the volume of a thousand foghorns.

Let me hear ya say "oh". Let me hear ya say "hey, oh". Hey oh hey oh.

We have engaged the Borg.... The wedding's on Friday!

Commander Keen was an albino in a pink shirt and helmet. Yet he was still cool. | But Tom I can't w- | STILL. COOL.

The conservatory must have a huge deathcount. Why do people still go in there?|Tim:It's for the fresh, corpsey air.

I'm dealing with this the same way I dealt with my own alcoholism and drug addiction, with lies and delusion.

I'd bitchslap you so hard you'll need a skin graft.

Random Andy: Well the bishop came to our church today. Never ONCE moved diagonally.

In fact "teh" has even evolved beyond a spelling error to be a modifier: I am teh ha)(0rz. Means I'm a good haxorz.

So what would happen if you strap toast butterside-up to a cat and drop it?|Tom: Don't, you'll break the universe.

Apparently Diana Ross's husband fell in a rockclimbing accident. I guess there WAS a mountain high enough.

Aside from delivering toys, Santa's main job is fighting the space spiders. Why weren't you told? You never asked.

Tranquilised- How do you know? | Because I spent my day on the internet. The self-amused, cynical underbelly of the world.

That's onomatopoeia, not a company name

Now I like a bit of abstract art. BUT Come on. That's a square. It means nothing. It means, I have a ruler and pen.

If god sued the devil for insider trading, who would arbitrate? Buddha? Gruumsh? Dr. Who? I know, maybe Science!

A party. Everyone's there:2x,e^x,6x,log( x). 6x: Come on, e^x! Integrate yourself into the party! | e^x: Why bother?

Heard you got excited about it. | Well *I* heard your mum kidnaps schoolkids and throws them off centrepoint tower!

It's not an electrocuted toucan skeleton! Sheesh!

HOW R U? IM GOOD. LOOK AFTER FLUFFY, CATFOOD IS UNDER SINK. LOVE GRANDMA. XOXO

Did he- was he- no. You can't ouija a decorative plate.

Tis the grammarians' curse! No man corrects english without making his own mistake! Or my name aint Silverbeard Compoundnouns.

A Mountain? I'd tap dat.

It sucks to be a grammar nazi in this regular nazi's world.

Hollicking bitchnuts, Batman! | Robin, youve not been taking your pills. I can tell.

'Stress, the silent killer' (See also Ninjas, Deafness etc) - IOYC.

If I didn't fear death, I'd pour myself another glass. Imagine the indignity of being killed by purple milk.

It's not often I have to use the words "complete mental putrefaction", now is it?

Jess: Cheltenham. | Door: What? | Jess: What?!

I've had one of the worst days ever. And having to watch Gosford Park again is just the beginning.

David. Listen. I'm buried alive where the blossoms shed by the cherrytree are the thickest. Can you come dig me up?

I was going to quit, but the cravings. The zombific cravings. You know, to head-pike people. They were just too strong.

Binary search failed: elements out of order. | No, you're out of order! The whole damn system is out of order!

Like some great, punctuation-leaking pinata, atop linguil-mermaid infested seas.

Black-market surgery: Almost as popular as normal surgery!

Friends don't let friends do 135

Got more litmus strips sticking out of your underwear than a stripper has bills.

I'm not sure. But I think I can still taste wax.

The prosecution now calls Megatron, your honour. | PUNY FLESHLINGS! HEAR MY MIGHTY TESTIMONY AND TREMBLE BEFORE IT!

There's ALL KINDS of extraneous words in this msn name.

Accidentally l337

dy/dx cc's of triowhosywhatsit STAT! Where y = cos(1/x)!
And where x is not equal to zero, of course!

"Well within acceptable parameters."

Hey. Um. Your name means "grandmother" in italian.

"Administered by high, nightmarish zombies."

Is "Death Cab" two words?

Tom: It speaks to me. Monosyllabically. Pallindromically. Almost... onomatopoeically. Tim: You're enjoying this, aren't you?

The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door. He said, "I am not fighting for you anymore".

Tom: I... I fail as an inter-friend. | Tim: Aww, Tom, baby. You're the best inter-friend a cyber-fool like me could ever have.

Critomancy is an ancient form of divination of cakes.

No marks will be given for solutions by other methods.

Unfortunately, everyone ignored the puppets' warning.

The trick to pet names is the combination of affectionate nouns. Honeybun. Sugarpie. Kittentits.

Recursion: n. See "Recursion"

Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I'd be touching all your curves.

If I had a tattoo, I would get one of you. Or at least of a generic woman's body and draw your head on with a texta

Two-cent-rubber patriotism

Blinking in the afternoon sunlight, already fabricating the first lies of morning productivity.

Give us a tantrum, And a know it all grin, Just when we need one, When the evening's thin.

Giant robots! ...That could work. - Go Go, Emo Rangers!

Hey Mickey youre so fine, youre so fine you blow my mind! she screamed, as Mickey tried to stem the flow of blood from her head.

Hey that's us! | Unless it's clones. I cloned you for my army. Theyre not a good army, they sit and play D&D mostly

Morals are back with a vengeance! ..And spiders! | Jess- Morals are the new black!

Meet me in the futuuuuuure! | Oh man, mustve had some bad.. star.

I love the word 'bind'. It has such mythical connotations. But it's also how you keep papers together.

Argh stop the car, I'm going to unFlurry!

The gnomes did it.

I cant believe it's not nano-sized butter!

I'm happy 'cause I'm stupid;Scared of spiders;Scared of flying;If I wasn't so happy;I wouldn't be so scared of dying

To do this question you must set your calculators to: Maths.

the glistening fangs of justice hover ever-closer to my behind.

Please do not pee in the divining pool.

I saw the weirdest thing the other day. A guy THANK an ATM.|That's not THAT weird.|After it pulled him from a burning car wreck.

So, yeah, I'm a total paradox.|That doesn't make much sense to me.|Oh God, sorry! Did I say paradox? I meant vortex

Yeah, but... i toOk thE oNe leSs travELLeD by.. & tHat hAs maDe All tHe difFerenCe - roBeRt froSt.

I certainly hope everyone knows that the perplexing new take on the Robert Frost poem was ironic.

No! Hold everything! ...Like some sort of infinite-armed octupus!

She sings like a word jumble.

There are more than 19 people in my house doing the Nutbush City Limits

Ok but before he leaves, I try to eat his face.

I'm thinking of changing alignment. To Neutral Awesome.

It's all sad. We're losing icons like when someone hits delete on the desktop.

CONCEPTION DAY IS AWESOME

I am just fixing their thought process by putting them in apple crates filled with spiders and rolling them down hills.

Motherfuckin NAGA on my motherfuckin plane.

And finally Ma-Ti with the power of...

Tranquilised- I'll show YOU vowels! The vowels of HELL!

Tutor:If you dump a huge log, you're going to need a lot of recovery time.|Tom:*cracks up*|Everyone else:*stares*

Nah, YouTube is weird. | Weird like a fox! A fox made of pure internet.
Is there any other kind?

I dont even laugh anymore unless the joke didnt make sense.

Something in the phrasing is quietly amazing, we were waiting for the chorus to come.

Going to a make-out party! Is this awesome: yes/no?

The word 'onomatopoeia' is used twice! That probably isn't a good sign.